Photo By: Arsian Elver
I remembered when we welcomed Amirul to our life. To tell you the truth, I still having a difficulties to believe that I have a son. The idea of being a father for the first couple of months, was really terrible. Deep in my heart, I was not ready. I still a mindless boy who's looking for attention from his father, although the sand of my time showed that my age would reach 30 in a few years.
Now I'm still adapting with that feeling, go on with my life and accept that Amirul is my son, he will and always be a major headache, a complexity of life. A burden. A financial burden in specific. In an instance, my life changed when my wife gave birth to Amirul. So with my financial budget and expenses. I had to change everything to suit Amirul's need. Then I found out that the changes were really put me into the state of loss and disorientation. Feelings of helplessness and withdrawal cloaked my trembling body and I was so sure that I was having financial shocks at that moment.
It took one year to absorb the shocks, I had followed three easy steps to lighten me up;
 developed positive attitude toward financial changes,
 confronted against unpleasant feelings of financial frustration;
 discharged practical steps to react with our financial stress.
Here I put down the 8 Financial Shocks since I've become a father.1. Diapers And the Consumable items related to it.
For the first few months, we bought an affordable brand of diapers such as Fiffy Basic and others but I couldn't remember. When the price of major consumable items like rice, chicken, and petrol soared, like a disease, it also infected almost every brand of diapers. So we turned to genuine brand that exercised cheaper price; Tesco brand.(RM28.99 as at 31.12.2009) After doing analysis and calculation, we laid our loyalties to cloth diaper since it helped us to reduce our expenses tremendously.
2. Medical Expenses.
"Congratulation you have fully utilized your medical provision for this year-- --now unfortunately we have to deduct the negative balance of RM272 that you owed us from your income this month" Well, that shocked me when I heard that. We managed to zero my wife's family medical provision.
We pay Amirul's babysitter for RM230 every month. We spent accumulated amount of RM2760 for 24 months. With our expected baby for this coming month of May, it doubles our expenses.
4. Formulated Milk Expenses.
Amirul drinks about 6 -7 bottles of milk every day and that average distributed the shock to my every cell. We bought 2-3 packs of Baby Milk a month, it cost about RM80.
Lets list down Amirul's gadget we have bought for the last 24 month.
#1. Cradle. Sold to a fellow friend [
#2. 2 Car Seat. One sold on Mudah.my [RM316 +
#3. 3 Strollers. One sold on Mudah.my [
RM120 + RM200 + RM 260]
#4. Sit to Stand Walker. [RM195]
#5. Drawing Magnet. [RM120]
#6. Toys R uS Colored Pencil. [RM65.90]
#7. Manjaku Push Car. [RM89.90]
#8. Assorted Toys [RM 200++]
Looking back at our budget excel, it gave us shock that we overlooked at our reckless spending behavior on Amirul's gadget.
6. Cloth and Shoes
We realized we spent a lot of money on cloth and shoes for the first 12 months. A shirt that we bought today can be worn for several months and then it couldn't fit anymore. To save money, we bought oversize t-shirt and shoes so that Amirul can wear until he reaches 30 months old.
7. Life insurancesOf course, we have to review and upgrade our life insurance premium to overcome the expenses until Amirul reaches 21 years old. We have to do the math and set the fund on how much Amirul will received if something bad happened to us.
8. HouseWith desperate urging from my wife, I had made my decision to purchase double-storey house somewhere in Selangor because she claimed that our current house was inadequate to provide moderate space for our son and upcoming baby. Being agreeable and rational, I accepted her relevant reason.
To bring more money to our home, we tried to implement this steps,
#1. Shoveled our income for extra savings
#1. Shoveled our income for extra savings
#2. Adjusting our lifestyles
#3. Sell used items on eBay and Mudah.my
#4. Cooking our own Food
And we succeed.
One year of challenging career as a father, giving me a valuable lesson to learn; The money accelerated at speed pace like a river, flowing to the open sea of expenses. Regardless of everything I've wrote above, having a baby is the happiest moment of my life. Now I can define every colors that I see, musicalize every sound I hear, and pursue every ambitions I've dreamed of. Every second without Amirul is a scrap of metal junk, shining but meaningless.