Friday, March 26, 2010

25 Things Every New Dad Should Know

Info about this book
Title: Father's First Steps: 25 Things Every New Dad Should Know 
Author: Robert W. Sears and James M. Sears

ISBN No: 9-0781558-323353

This book is very handful for new father, it's an advice to new father, who have to training at all to prepare for any unexpected disasters that will happen in the future. It's a surprise to me because all the things that had been said, had happened to me. There are issues and problems a new father will face and it also provides simple solutions and prompt initiatives for several common situations. 

The book can be used as a guide for a new father in discharging his new responsibilities, help him to understanding the problems and what is the next course of actions should be taken. Here I list down the things every dad should know:

1. Real dads change diapers
Father take part in helping mommy, work as a team. Changing diapers is an early step of father-baby bonding relationship. Statistics shows that your child will need 5000 diaper changes over the next few years. 

2. You're key player on the birth team
"Helping Woman labor is much more than coaching her through breathing and pushing. She needs to feel you are connected to her 100 percent, both emotionally and physically."

Be there for her so she can be emotionally controlled. Give your wife all courage she needs, maybe your hand will empower her to put strength in pushing a baby out. 

3. You and your baby will need some Super Glue
The writer introduce the basic concept of fatherhood - bonding and put the term 'Super Glue'. The concept is to play with your baby, pay attention, and assist the baby to stimulate his brain and growth. Hold the baby to create 'Super Glue' mode. 

4. Your baby needs your little finger.
Baby needs skin-to-skin to make them comfortable. The warm of your touch can make the baby to relax

5. Your baby needs your help throughout the hospital stay
What you can do during hospital stay;
.During the night, seek nurse to check the condition of the baby, and her mother as well.
.Seek moral support to build bonding relationship with baby.

6. You'll have to make a decision about circumcision
Writer showed the advantages and the disadvantages of circumcision; The act of cutting off foreskin of males. The decision is in your hand whether to circumcise or cutting off the prepuce of your children. In Islam, men and women are compulsory to circumcise because we believe that the uncircumcised is exposed to infections and other bad things.

7. You are part of the breastfeeding team
What you have to do when you're in the team, [1] give a hand in helping mommy to find good positing to nursing baby [2] Give your wife a lot of water and snacks [3] Get ready to adapt with night shift routine. 

8. You can ace Baby 101.
Put all the baby thing on mommy's head is unnecessary. After all, A father should wax his skill of handling a baby such as changing diapers, feeding food, bathing baby, and playing with kids. As a team, we should have a tolerance between each other so that the baby grows in happy environment.

9. You can raise your baby (almost) for free
Writer said that raising a baby was not that pricey; from a bottle of milk to baby clothes.  Well, I don't agree with that. The cost of having a baby is quite substantial nowadays, which is contrary to his point right now.

10. You can learn to speak Baby 
It argues that if you assume the baby's cry as a language, and take a prompt respond to every cry he makes, he will be better in communicating with you. 

11. Some babies need more
Some Babies need more attention than any other babies. It is because the baby feels bonded every time he touches the finger of his father. Some babies need to be hugged more, play more, and eat more. That is high maintenance baby, and the writer call it "high-need baby"

12. Grandma can be your best friend
Your grandmother knows everything about baby, so she's more expert of the baby's need and she knows to handle with the crying baby. So when your grandmother teaches you that the baby needs to hugged and held a little longer, you should listen to her. 

13. You can keep a wireless connection to your baby from work 
Actually, you can do this by communicating regularly through phone. Even though your baby can't speak, just get him on the phone to get feeling connected with him. Another idea from this point is that you can setup a digital webcam so you can remotely monitor the baby from office.  

14. You have to help keep the nest clean
A father should know how to clean a house, just like a mother does. 

15. You can have a rewarding career as Mr. Mom
This point suggested that stay-at-home dad is a promising career. If there's opportunity to become one, don't hesitate to take it.

16. Dual Careers are a dual challenge.
Yes, double the effort, double the trouble, double the tiredness, and double almost everything in our life. 

17. You can have all the free time you want.
You can watch your favorite movies, Lost Season 6 perhaps, with the baby in your arms; sleeping soundly. It's an excuse not to run an errand when your wife asks you to do, such as cleaning the dishes, emptying the trash, and wash the clothes. Tell your wife, "How can I help you when I'm holding our sleeping baby?", and go on watch the TV.

18. You have a new playmate
A father must help the baby in developing the growth stimulation especially in motoring skill. Assist him in balancing, hand-eye coordination, finger movements, body rotation, and head muscles.

19. You can help Mom beat postpartum depression
Postpartum Depression is normally happened to new mother. Scientifically explanation agrees that Prolactin brings imbalance to brain hormones that control mood, and mommy feels like to cry, misery, anxiety after giving birth. Father should be beside mother for moral support.

20. You, too, can sleep like a baby
Bringing your baby to your own bed and sleep beside you, will make baby sleeps more deeply without interrupting both father and mother.

21. Oh, Yeah--Mom needs sleep, too
Be prepared to take in charge with the baby thing because mom needs sleep; a vacation.

22. Sex Will Happen again someday 
You have to wait up to 45 days to mommy recovers from her wound of giving birth. Then sex will happen. 

23. A good dad remembers he's a husband, too
Giving too much attention to the baby? Without realizing it, you neglected your job as a husband. Arrange your time to have some free time with your wife.

24. You can ace Doctoring 101
Every father should know the basic symptom of early sickness. Most of the baby shows uneasiness and crying a lot when he fell sick.

25. You'll want to play with grandchildren someday.
A father is essential to stay fit for as long as 30 years later. So that you can play with your grandchildren. How nice is that. 
A Glimpse into the Future: Here I quote some daddy simple rules from the book so you can follow;
  • Give the gift of your time
  • Say "I love You" every day
  • Try not lose temper with your child
  • Generous with praise
  • Don't focus too much on winning

This book should be on every father's bookshelf instead of fishing magazine because it contains practical guides and solutions so that new fathers like me can understand easily Why this things happened? What I should do next? and How to breakthrough this problems? 


  1. Nice write up. How much the book cost? Would like to give one to my hubby as birthday present...

  2. I rent it at outlet. There are several excellent books for parenting.


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