Wednesday, March 17, 2010

10 Ways on How To Tame A Land.

photo by: Adam N. Ward

Assume that you've possessed a land. An untouched land, so virgin that no one would ever lay a hand on its valuable minerals such as oil and gold underneath it or the land that is very fertile that you could put hundreds acres of orange farm. Same goes to our offspring, that we are gifted from Allah a son or a daughter, a valuable and precious living form. Like other parent, Amirul gives our life a reason to survive and filling in our half-empty relationship.

Land and Amirul. Both have valuable product underneath it. We just need the right tool to tame it. We just need the right drilling pipe pump the oil. We just need good manners to develop good characteristic behavior. So we teach our son 10 good manners to nurture good attitude inside him when he becomes grown up man: 

#1. Handshake and Forehead kiss before go to work. 
I want to develop good greetings behavior of my son. So I establish the Handshake-and-Forehead-Kiss (HAFK) manner when I go to the office. Amirul absorb the manner in a good way. He now understands that when he wants to go somewhere, he must give do the HAFK manner to everyone. He waves the goodbye hand to everyone when he steps out of a house. 

#2. Say 'Please' and 'Thank You'
'Please' and 'Thank You', these two words are the essential polite words need to be seeded inside Amirul's attitude. Toddler like Amirul tends to do exactly what his father do; yawning with mouth wide open and hands into the sky is not a good behavior but sometimes I forgot that Amirul's watching me. So He imitated it. Then I started to put these two words into our conversation as much as possible. Although Amirul is still unable to speak clearly and properly, it's better to teach him early so he can express his politeness without being asked to.   

#3. Understand the others' feelings. 
Amirul loves to playing ball, dancing, and chasing with his cousins. He never dancing and chasing with his daddy or mommy because he only wants to do it with the same age. He seems happier with them. But then he started hitting with his car, throwing his books, and pushing his own cousins until someone said "Dah, jangan kawan dengan Amirul! Kita pergi main wii pulak". So I have to interfere the scene by signalling 'NO' with my finger and say "No good, Amirul. It hurt your cousins' feelings". I want to lecture him about other people's feeling when he did something like that, but I'm afraid he will not understand at all and continues hitting and pushing his cousins.   

#4. Show Respect When Daddy Talk To Someone And Not to Climb On Me Instead.
What losing my coolness is when Amirul grabs my handphone off me when I talk about something important to someone. That's when his skin reddened and his mouth begins to curve like an O shape, screaming into the sky about how painful the pinch he get from me. So every time the call gets in, I put my forefinger on my mouth. Eventually he understands and behaves like a good boy.  

#5. "Say Sorry to Mommy, faster good boy!" 
It happened sometimes. When mommy put Amirul in her arm, playing chak chak with his eyes opened and closed and laughing and giggling between them. Suddenly, the intimate happiness crushed by a  punch into her mommy's right eye. I think he was trying to be creative at that time, didn't know he could hurt her mother's feelings by that act. Every time Amirul makes silly mistakes like that, he must comply with sorry word and kisses-and-hugs attitude.  

#6. All you have to do is to wait.
It's hard to develop patience in Amirul. He cries a lot when he wants a bottle of milk, he thumping his toes when I'm a second late to close the door, and screaming when the dinner is late. I have to distract him by drawing an elephant for him on white A3 paper or let him watch Ice Age movie. "Wait Amirul, Mommy's cooking isn't ready yet for dinner!" Well, he understands that and he waits.

#7. No TV, Toys, or even iPod on Dinner's Table. 
Amirul is not allowed to watch TV when having a dinner. He also not allowed to his favorite toys such as ball, truck, or mini car on our dinner table. You cannot bribe me with your smile and the truck at your hand, 

#8. Be aggressive as much as you want at play field, but not in Tesco.
It gets worse when playful Amirul starts to get tantrums, and then everybody looks at me like I'm a bad parent. Usually, I politely ask my wife to pay whatever inside the trolleyn and get out of Tesco. Or I bring Amirul to toy corner and let him play with a bicycle. If Tesco stuff came, I just say "Testing it before buying it". At play field, I let Amirul play whatever he wants. Aggressively he loves to run, kick, jump, and other active activity. 

#9. Sharing seems to be the hardest word.
When one of his cousins said "Dah, jangan kawan dengan Amirul! Kita pergi main wii pulak", everyone left Amirul alone. Let him played with toys that they had abandoned. After a while, Amirul got bored, approached in front of TV and grabbed Wiimote from everyone. Yes, Amirul don't want to share a thing, I didn't know what to do but to yell at him, forced him to share with his cousins. I need to learn more on how to make he thinks it is good to share with everyone.
#10. You want Vitagen, you have to help mommy clean up your bed and toys first.
This is my favorite part, when he wants something especially his must-have drink, Vitagen. You can ask him to help something and in return you give him Vitagen. Mommy often use this strategy to nurture his behavior, ask him to help cleaning up the mess he made with the toys. He always polite and well mannered when he wants something so badly. 

Bonus Point
#11. Come inside the bedroom, it's time for you to sleep. No bribe.
Discipline and firm rules are the recipe to develop a child good behavior. Although I always fall to his mesmerizing smile while showing Nintendo Wii, ask me to play instead of going to bed. What a bribe. Ultimately, you have to be strict with your kids or else you'll be drowning with their tantrums or their bribery smiles.

The Conclusion
It is not easy to tame Amirul. To make him follows all the 11 manners require a lot of patience and sacrifice. As a father, I have to be a role model to him, showing him the right characters so that he can imitates me. I hope he would be the respected man with highly manners, and his name will be remembered in our society.  

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Dear Readers, welcome to my personal blog. This blog is about the story of my little family and its members. You can find my posts are mostly about parenting and family matters. Some of my posts are not concerning parenthood at all like cooking and shopping because I would like some diversify in my parenthood blog. Sharing information to my fellow friends and loyal reader is the main reason to build this parenthood blog.

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My name is kambingbujang. I am 27-year old mum with Amirul beside me. Now I'm carrying around his future younger brother/sister in my tummy.

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